Earlier in the week I shared with you my not at all embarrassing experience meeting Jeffrey Eugenides, and promised a follow-up of other author-meet stories of similar levels of hilarity. Et voila!
Me and Nick Earls.
Book signing line, after library author talk.
Me: Could you sign my books please? Unloads veritable feast of Nick Earls paperback goodness.
N.E.: Sure. Hey, do I know you? You look familiar…
Me: I go to a lot of you events –
N.E.: Ah, right.
Me: – and we shop at the same grocery store.
N.E.: Oh really. At Toowong?
Me: Yes, I see you there all the time. Or sometimes my housemates see you and know who you are because I’ve shown you to them before, and so they point you out for me.
N.E.: I see.
Me: I also just bought tickets to your Writers’ Festival event this morning. So you’ll see me again.
N.E.: Oh which one? Mentally cycling through security options…
Me: I think it was called “Truth in Fiction”.
N.E.: Really? What on earth am I going to talk about during that? My books are all made up.
Me: I don’t know…
He then signed my book, Lauren, I’m going straight home to prepare “Truth in Fiction” and I left. Turns out the event was called The Devil in the Detail and it was evacuated by a fire alarm about ten minutes in. I have only a slight suspicion that Nick Earls saw my face and pressed a panic button, because he’s generally a lovely guy, but I wouldn’t blame anyone from protecting themselves against supermarket stalker girl.
To give some context, I had won tickets to see Scott play at an album launch and decided to be hugely confident and introduce myself. Smart move.
Me: Hey, Scott? I’m Lauren, I won your tickets today.
Scott: Oh hi, lovely to meet you! Hugs. (He is absolutely lovely).
Scott: So, how did you come across my twitter, do you listen to my music?
Me: Well…no. Yes, actually, I listen to it now, but actually I’m a fan of Ben’s….
Scott: Fair enough (I have no idea how he responded to that one, but he did it with optimal grace) Does he know you?
Me: Well, I first read him in frankie, and then when I moved here I found out that he ran the bookclub, so I’ve gone to that a couple of times.
Scott: Oh great. Are you going to his book launch?
Me: Yes actually.
Scott: Well, I’ll see you there then.
Me: Definitely. Hopefully I won’t come off as a creepy stalker girl.
Scott: You know it’s funny, Ben has a creepy young girl stalker! She just turns up at all his things and is creepy. Wouldn’t it be funny if that was actually you and I’m talking to you, and then you come to the book launch and Ben says, “Hey, that’s the creepy stalker girl”!
Me: That would be hilarious!
Me: On the inside Oh my God, what if I AM Ben Law’s creepy stalker girl! I do show up at all his things! I could look small and creepy!
At the book launch, Scott was indefinably lovely and came and said hello and sat with me awhile before everything got started, and in no way acted like Ben had put out a red alert poster with my name on it. Alternatively, he was proving himself a most wonderful boyfriend, and physically putting his body between danger (me) and his love.
Do you think there’s any photos of the two of these charming boys together on the internet?
No. Probably because the combined level of good-lookingness would implode things.
Me with Marieke Hardy
At Brisbane Writers’ Festival, again in a book-signing line, wearing one of my favourite stripy t-shirts.
Me: Mutely hands book over to Marieke to sign. Hi.
M.H.: Hi Lauren.
Signs book: Hello Lauren – a woman in stripes will always have my heart, Marieke
The next day, waiting with my friend in like to get her book signed.
Me: Hi! I was growing in confidence now.
M.H.: Hi. I noticed you from the front row. You have great hair.
Me: — I can’t answer, because I’ve dropped dead on the floor.
Actually, that one’s not embarrassing. That’s just awesome.
To continue on the creepy theme, I wanted to cut and paste myself into these photos with the authors (like I did here being a super creep with Laurie Oaks and Hamish), but I didn’t have the time/effort/I forgot how to. In future, I will endeavour to actually get photos with said wonderful people. Please click through on all the pictures for their source links, most are attached to articles about said writers/musicians.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this display of social skills as much as your about to enjoy your weekend.